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History of Sex in Cinema: 2003, Part 1 |
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American Wedding (2003) (aka American Pie 3, or American Pie: The Wedding) This irreverent second sequel to the original gross-out 1999 comedy film, the third film in the original series, had the tagline: "Forever Hold Your Piece." The preceding two films were:
The next group of sequels - five American Pie Presents films - were unofficial, direct-to-video releases:
The sex romp began with Jim Levenstein's (Jason Biggs) marriage proposal to Michelle Flaherty (Alyson Hannigan), and concentrated on how they were engaged - an embarrassing incident that occurred while he was on the phone with his father (Eugene Levy) in a restaurant (celebrating college graduation). During the call, Jim received oral sex under the table from Michelle - of course the act was discovered by his Dad. Also later, there were problems when the wedding ring was ingested by one of Michelle's dogs and had to be retrieved from the excrement, and Michelle's mother (Deborah Rush) mistook it for a chocolate truffle and attempted to eat it. The main scene was a poorly-timed bachelor party, in which the film's most prominent character, host Steve Stifler (Seann William Scott) announced:
In the celebrated raunchy scene, two erotic fantasy characters - big-boobed party strippers - appeared and performed various bondage/submission roles:
Topless Krystal brandished her whip in the face of Finch (Eddie Kaye Thomas). When she cried: "What? I can't hear you. Louder!...Can't hear you. Louder! Louder!", he shouted back: "Stick a finger in my ass." |
 Fraulein Brandi (Amanda Swisten)    Officer Krystal (Nikki Schieler Ziering) |
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Bad Boys II (2003) Director Michael Bay's action-adventure film, the sequel to the 1995 film, again paired Martin Lawrence and Will Smith as Miami narcotics cops Marcus Burnett and Mike Lowrey. They were in pursuit of ecstasy drug dealer/smuggler Johnny Tapia (Jordi Molla) smuggling into Miami. During their investigation, they discovered that Tapia was using dead bodies in his mansion's mortuary to smuggle his drugs and money back to Cuba. In the memorably gruesome, disrespectful but funny morgue sequence, the two cops searched through various cut-open body cavities of bodies in search of concealed drugs. In a minor bit role as a "Female Corpse" (portrayed by voluptuous Jessica Karr), her body was laid out on one of the cold slabs (death by strangulation). Marcus confessed to Mike that he couldn't help but innocently ogle the naked female's stiff chest, but was forced to hide under the sheet next to the well-endowed cadaver:
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   "Female Corpse" (Jessica Karr) |
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This independent, low-budget arthouse film from narcissistic, maverick and vain producer/director/actor/writer Vincent Gallo was essentially a cross-country road-trip movie. The film would undoubtedly have been given an NC-17 rating if submitted for review, so it was distributed unrated. It further broke down the division between pornography and erotica. When the self-absorbed film was first screened for the press at the Cannes Film Festival in 2003, it was derided and scorned by critics and audiences. Critic Roger Ebert called it "the worst film ever shown at Cannes," prompting a prolonged feud of words between Gallo and Ebert. The feud with Ebert ended when the film was re-cut (approximately 26 minutes of the two hour film were excised) and re-released, and Ebert gave the film his 'thumbs-up' endorsement. Further controversy arose over large billboards conspicuously placed in Los Angeles on Sunset Blvd., heralding the infamous fellatio scene, that were soon taken down. It told about two characters:
Bud often idealized and thought about Daisy. In a naturalistic style of story-telling, the flawed and widely-ridiculed film followed Clay's westward trip in his black van to Los Angeles, California after he had lost an East Coast (New Hampshire) race. During his trip, he met fleetingly with three women and connected only briefly with each of them before leaving - all were named after flowers:
This film further broke down the division between pornography and erotica. In the film's most notorious, explicit and controversial scene of unsimulated fellatio at the finale, Bud and Daisy were in a starkly-white hotel room (soon-to-be-revealed as a fantasy masturbatory sequence) - both lonely and needy individuals who were attempting to connect and speak to each other. Twice, she went to the bathroom to smoke crack cocaine. Soon, the couple began kissing as he took her head/face forcefully with his two hands on her cheeks and hungrily kissed her. He undressed her down to her black bra and panties as she reclined back on the bed. After more kissing and fondling of her naked breasts, as he stood before her at the side of the bed, he undid his belt buckle, released his pant's fly, and she took his male member into her mouth to begin the infamous 'blow-job' scene - as he held himself. As she pleasured him in her mouth, they still engaged in a conversation about their love for each other. When he was finished and satisfied, he stuffed himself back into his underwear and zipped up his fly.
He laid on the bed, in a blurry shot and told her: "Thank you so much." Then, they talked about the last encounter of their tragic relationship, when Bud reacted jealously to Daisy's past indiscretion at a party, where she had smoked dope and acted provocatively with some other guys. She apologized ("I never meant to hurt you, Bud"). He moaned about her drug-addicted habit, especially when she was pregnant. She admitted that she was assaulted and raped by the guys after she passed out from getting high (which Bud witnessed passively through the partially-open door of the bedroom). Bud confessed that he didn't help her, but walked away. When he returned, an ambulance had already arrived at the scene, and he sadly kissed her corpse on a stretcher. The controversy-provoking film ended with a shocking, melodramatic plot twist to explain Bud's complex personality and downer mood throughout the film regarding Daisy as his lost love - the only woman he ever loved. The film's ending gave greater meaning to everything that came before, including the sex scene. It was revealed that Daisy had in fact died as a result of the incident (choking to death on her own vomit) - "I was dead" - and was later taken away in the ambulance. Bud's intense guilt about abandoning her and his continuing crisis of masculine insecurity were informed by the appearance of the deceased Daisy (in his mind only!) - as Bud had been masturbating alone to his memory of her. The film ended with him curled up in a fetal position on the hotel bed. |
      Bud and Daisy - A Fantasized Oral Sex Encounter     The Rape/Assault of Daisy  Bud Alone and Curled Up in Fetal Position on Hotel Bed |
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Bruce Almighty (2003) Director Tom Shadyac's comedy (his third film with Carrey) posited the following: "If you could be God for one week, what would you do?" (the film's tagline). It told about Bruce Nolan (Jim Carrey), a self-centered Buffalo, NY TV field reporter in a dead-end job. He was troubled and discontented over not finding employment as an anchorman when a fellow rival worker Evan (Steve Carell) was promoted to lead anchor. In a moment of frustration and inappropriate anger when he was on-air at Niagara Falls, he was fired from his job. He complained to God (Morgan Freeman) about his unfair treatment:
He railed at God:
As a result, in an abandoned warehouse ("Omni Presents"), the home of God, Bruce was given the Almighty's divine and omnipotent powers to see if he could do a better job. A few of the more ridiculous things that occurred was during a breakfast scene when Evan's girlfriend Grace Connelly (Jennifer Aniston) observed that her breasts had grown larger overnight (she asked: "I woke up this morning and I felt like, like my boobs were bigger. I mean, do they look bigger to you?"), with Evan's double-entendre reply: "This has been the breast beckf..."; he also parted tomato soup, and used his newfound powers to make the newly-promoted, obnoxious anchorman Evan fail at his job. In a miraculous love-scene after pulling the moon closer to give the scene a romantic tone, Bruce also caused Grace to have a 'no-contact' uncontrollable, mental orgasm without human touch. While alone in her bathroom; he sexually aroused her through mental powers, and she moaned as she fell back on the toilet seat: "Oh, my God! Ooh!...Oh, God! Oh, Good God!" She appeared from the bathroom bedraggled, sex-hungry and ready for more - and received a body-slam into the bed. |
    A "No-Contact" Orgasm for Grace Connelly (Jennifer Aniston) |
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Carmen (2003, Sp.) After her success in Sex and Lucia (2001), sultry Paz Vega took the title role in director/co-writer Vicente Aranda's film based or adapted from French writer Prosper Merimée's 1845 novella about obsession, passion, jealousy and murder in Spain of 1830. Tempestuous Vega's nudity was liberally and fully on display throughout much of the film. The beautiful Paz Vega starred as the feisty, troubled Andalusian gypsy-whore Carmen (Paz Vega), who first met on-duty Basque Sergeant, Jose "The Navarrese" Lizarrabengoa (Leonardo Sbaraglia) with the tempting, flirtatious words: "Do you know how many beauty spots I have on my body?" and then threw him a red carnation flower (which he placed inside his uniform next to his heart). At her work at a cigar factory, Carmen found herself slashing both cheeks of rival co-worker Fernanda (Maria Botto) after being insulted: "Your dirty tits stink and you smell like a gypsy's insides." The film then skipped ahead with the tale of archaeologist/writer Don Próspero (Jay Benedict) who first met fugitive bandit and murderer Jose in the forest, where he was told that he had a price on his head: "Life has made me the opposite of who I wanted to be." At a church where he was doing research, Prospero met the seductive and alluring fortune-teller gypsy Carmen who told him: "I correspond with Satan." After telling his fortune, she coyly suggested "the remedy for your evils" -- but their session was interrupted by mad-looking Jose, who entered the home and recognized Prospero from earlier. A few days later outside the gates of the town, Prospero watched as Jose rode away on horseback, carrying a naked but draped Carmen in his arms (seen in context during a later flashback). Prospero witnessed the bandit/murderer's trial where Jose was charged with murder and armed robbery, and sentenced to garrotting. The story was then related in flashback, as Prospero listened to condemned prisoner Jose in his cell while describing his tragic affairs with Carmen. After she had injured her co-worker, Carmen was taken to be jailed, but Jose abetted her escape - and as punishment for dereliction of duty, he was demoted to Private and imprisoned for one month. Although he saw her as a lying she-devil, he became obsessed by the thought of her. Later, when Jose and Carmen next met at a tavern where she was prostituting herself, she whispered: "Has anybody ever eaten your heart out?," took ten units of currency from him, suggested: "Let's spend it all. I'll let you pamper me," and took him to her brothel. Virginal, he experienced his first night of sexual passion with her while entranced and seduced. She was reassuring as she lowered herself onto him: "I'll show you how to do it, soldier. There. Tonight, you'll learn it all." When Carmen disappeared, Jose prayed to the Virgin Mary for her to return: "Make her love me. Let me love her." She did return, temptingly offering him another night of fornication in return for letting smugglers through the city's gates. When he assisted her plan, she again met him at the brothel and vowed she didn't love him anymore, but laid back on the bed and hiked up her skirt anyway: "Didn't you want a c--t? Here it is." With tears flowing, he prophesied: "If I killed you now, I'm sure I'd save many tears in the future." She purred back:
He became obsessed and driven insane by her irresistible charms and only wanted her for himself. Madly jealous when he saw that his commanding lieutenant also became smitten by her at the same brothel, he called Carmen a whore. With his sword, Jose angrily killed the lieutenant in front of her in a fit of rage. Now a fugitive, Carmen helped him to flee into the hills to join her rebel group of bandits in a cave-hideout. She said that the "proof of her love" was that she never asked for money. After Jose killed the lieutenant, she claimed that he had been given "freedom and a woman." As a symbol of their union, he gave her a gold ring, and she joined him in the hideout where they boldly made love in front of the others one night. Jose soon learned that Carmen had a gangster husband named Garcia recently released from prison, nick-named One-Eyed. But when the husband turned drunk and couldn't perform the first evening he returned, she secretly came to Jose and confided before offering herself: "You're the one I love...You came to me at the right time. When I'm with him, all I can think of is you." When One-Eyed continued to treat Carmen disrespectfully in front of him, Jose murdered his love rival in a knife duel - with Carmen's help (she covered her husband's head with a cape during the fight) (Carmen: "It was time for him to go. It will be your time, too"). Jose thought he now had Carmen all for himself, but then her wanton ways caused her to become infatuated with another male - a handsome matador named Lucas Domeque (Josep Linuesa) who caught her eye, leading to more tragic and uncontrollable passions and deadly consequences. When she bedded the bullfighter (Carmen: "Penetrate me. Pierce my body. Moan with me. I want you to yell"), Jose caught them together. After Carmen taunted: "If you have guts, shoot. Or leave," Jose shot the man point-blank in the face, and then rode with her (draped but naked) from the city on horseback. He dragged her into the church in front of the Virgin Mary statue and pressured her to repent and faithfully be his wife, feeling that she had made him look like a fool: "Swear that you won't do it again...Swear that you'll be mine and only mine forever" - but when she refused, said she didn't love him, and vowed to never be with him or live with him again ("I want nothing from you. I don't want to ever see you again. Go! I've never loved you!"), he was resigned to again murder for her. She held her arms out: "I dare you to kill me. Kill me or let me go...Kill Carmen. Kill her."
He fiercely kissed her and then fatally stabbed her in the abdomen. He laid her naked body on a table in front of the altar and kissed her flesh from her feet to her head, still believing she was alive. Jose told Prospero: "Carmen was mine at last." In his last words in the film, he wouldn't disavow knowing Carmen, even though it led to his own destruction. He answered: "No, no, of course not," when Prospero asked: "Would you blot Carmen out of your existence?" |
     Carmen (Paz Vega)   Carmen with Jose   Carmen with Matador Lucas |
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The Cooler (2003) Director Wayne Kramer's feature film debut (originally rated NC-17 but edited to an R rating) told about chronically bad-luck Las Vegas casino cooler Bernie Lootz (William H. Macy), who fell in love (his luck changed also) in an oddball romance with mob-run Shangri-La casino cocktail waitress Natalie Belisario (Maria Bello). They experienced a very realistic bedroom sex scene during their first-time lovemaking in his dumpy motel room on green sheets. She did a striptease down to a tight white leotard that revealed a pair-of-dice-tattooed on her left buttocks - to the piano-tinkling tune of "Luck Be A Lady Tonight" ("You may not be an angel, 'Cause angels are so few"). Although he was embarrassed when he prematurely climaxed rapidly as she straddled him, she assured him: "You gotta great cock!" and then cupped his genitals with her hand as they laid side-by-side. Their second love-making scene was much more graphic, and engendered the most controversy. It began with a closeup of her sweaty and straining face as she had a prolonged and pleasurable orgasm from oral sex. Then as he moved up on her body, there was a brief glimpse of her trimmed pubic hair (a shot of her private parts was cut) before he affectionately kissed and nuzzled both of her breasts.
Afterwards, they both banged on the motel room wall while simulating wild sex, to aggravate and pay-back their loud and over-sexed next-door neighbors. |
   Bedroom Sex Scene: Bernie with Natalie |
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dot the i (2003, US/UK/Sp.) This R-rated British erotic psychological thriller was the debut film of writer/director Matthew Parkhill. It was set in London, where it began with a girls-night-out (bachelorette party) session at a fancy French restaurant. Young, sexy Spanish flamenco dancer Carmen Colazzo (Natalia Verbeke) was allowed to give "one last kiss" to a stranger before getting married - her "farewell to a single life." The bride-to-be (dressed in a Charlie Chaplin outfit with a mustache for her "hen night") chose to kiss unemployed Brazilian/ Brit actor Kit Winter (Gael García Bernal). They shared an unexpected passionate kiss that soon led to fears of stalking, but they did meet again ("What harm is there if you see me just once?"). Their meeting was a hot-blooded orgasmic, semi-clothed sexual encounter coupling the two lovers, after which they attempted to cover up the betrayal. A dilemma and difficult love triangle ensued because of the striking contrast to her normal boring relationship with wealthy, boring Englishman fiancee and film director Barnaby F. Caspian (James D'Arcy). The film's twisted and intriguing plot eventually revealed that Barnaby had set up the events in the film with a preconceived plan, casting Carmen in the lead role of his artistic snuff film, and hiring (and paying) Kit to seduce her. The duplicitous and manipulative Barnaby had wanted to have Carmen feel doubtful about having married him, and instead desire to be with Kit. Barnaby then faked his own suicide (by shooting himself in the mouth with a gun) due to feeling suitably depressed. He then sent a videotaped copy of his phony suicide to Carmen, so that she would find further comfort in Kit's arms. Later, in a startling and abrupt reveal scene, Barnaby told the couple that his death was an acted scene in his film, and he joked to himself that he was a "dead man walking." He paid off Kit for his acting and participation, while reminding him about his amoral role in the film:
He played back a recorded scene, shot from a hidden camera, of the two making passionate love with her loud orgasm, claiming: "Oh, this is really good stuff....That's about as authentic as it gets." He also described how when he first met Carmen, he knew she would be perfect for his film:
He explained his motivation for the deception - he was bored, he had the time and the money, and "I did it because people like me get to play with the lives of people like you, 'cause you so desperately wanted to believe in love." He also said he was jealous when he saw the two first kiss: "You never kissed me like that. Not once." He also revealed that he had thought of everything as a film director to cross the t's and dot the i's. He had tricked fiancee Carmen into signing an "Artist Release Form" when she thought she was signing their marriage certificate. As he left, he turned and said: "You'll thank me one day." When Barnaby released the film to box-office success, the film ended, revealing that Kit and Carmen had actually fallen in love, and were plotting to pay back the cynical Barnaby. |
    Carmen (Natalia Verbeke) with Kit (Gael Garcia Bernal) |
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Director Bernardo Bertolucci's NC-17 explicitly-rated film of sexual discovery and intimacy was set in the summer in Paris in 1968. It was the first NC-17 rated film in 6 years, after the release of the NC-17 rated independent film Orgazmo (1997), Bent (1997, UK) and Cronenberg's Crash (1996). Earlier in his career, Bertolucci had experienced ratings issues with his controversial X-rated film Last Tango in Paris (1972/1973, It./Fr.). The arthouse film involved a continual series of semi-incestuous encounters between the three characters, all fellow cineastes. While the twin's parents were away for a month at the seaside, the game-playing group became very close friends and sexual partners:
One early memorable scene was the trio's 9:28 minute dash through the Louvre (in homage to a similar scene in Godard's Band of Outsiders (1964) (aka Bande à Part) with Anna Karina and her two suitors) - beating the film's time of 9:45, followed by Matthew's acceptance (with a spliced-in clip of the classic "One of us" chanting scene from Freaks (1932)). During improvisational sexual games, mostly tests of cinema trivia, they asked questions of each other and play-acted about various classic films in cinema (Queen Christina, City Lights, Top Hat, Breathless, etc. - clips were interwoven) - with the loser forfeiting and having to engage in specified sex acts. Following Theo's failure to identify Blonde Venus, a film with a chorus line dancer-singer wearing a coat, he was forced to masturbate in front of them to a picture of Marlene Dietrich in The Blue Angel. Soon after, Theo explained to Matthew how he and his sister were intimately synchronized - he pointed to his conjoined brain:
After Matthew's failure to identify the film Scarface (1932) for Theo, as Isabelle stripped down to be totally naked before him, his forfeit was to serve as a mediating lover between the twins by making love to Isabelle in front of Theo. She removed the underpants of a partially-resistant Matthew, finding a picture of herself stuck to his penis ("Oh, how sweet of you, Matthew, to keep my image next to your heart"). His declothing was followed by their noisy, grunting copulation on the apartment's kitchen floor (he lowered himself onto her and entered her for intercourse), as Theo non-chalantly fried eggs on the nearby gas stove. In the so-called "blood-on-the-face" scene, Isabelle was - surprisingly - shown to be virginal, when she was deflowered and bled. After they finished having sex, Theo touched Isabelle's forehead and thigh and brought up his fingers covered in blood - and Matthew also took some of the blood from her broken hymen/vagina and smeared it onto her face as he ardently kissed her.
In the next scene of subsequent lovemaking between the two, the camera panned slowly up Isabelle's completely naked body (with a full-frontal closeup) as Matthew lovingly kissed her. She called him: "My love. My first love. My great love. My great lover. My Valentino." He was surprised that he was her first lover: "You know, I thought you had many lovers" - and assumed she had been sexually bonded with Theo: "How did you and Theo... come together the way that you are?" She replied: "Theo and me? It was love at first sight." He asked: "But he's never been inside you?" Isabelle simply replied: "He's always inside me." Shortly later, Theo revealed his slight jealousy that Matthew was enjoying the threesome ("You've made me feel like I'm a part of you"); Theo bluntly rebutted Matthew:
After a while, they became more isolated from the world, as Matthew narrated (in voice-over): "We hardly left the apartment anymore. We didn't know or care if it was day or night. It felt as if we were drifting out to sea, leaving the world far behind us." The threesome bathed together in a tub where Isabelle's menstrual blood was seen on the water's surface (a symbol of sexual awakening?). As the bath ended, Isabelle asked Matthew: "Are you ready to give us proof of your love?...Get out of the bath."
When brother and sister (Theo and Isabelle) proposed to shave Matthew's pubic hair, he strenuously objected: "You're both f--king crazy....This is what you call proof of love? Turning me into a freak?..." When the two called it just a game, Matthew still refused: "Is this something you do to each other? You want to shave my pubic hair? You want me to be a little boy for you? A little prepubescent Theo at six, who you can play games with? You can touch peepee...I'll show you mine. You show me yours." Although he called his criticisms loving, he cruelly noted that he was through with their game-playing, and that the two twins must grow more mature:
He proposed to take Isabelle on regular dates - something she had not experienced before. Later, Matthew took Isabelle on a traditional date to the movie theatre where he kissed her properly. At the end of the film, they slept together nakedly-intertwined in an indoor tent, and unbeknownst to them, Theo's and Isabelle's parents briefly entered the apartment and found the disturbing sight, but did not wake them. A concluding self-destructive streak was exhibited by Isabelle (in homage to Bresson's Mouchette (1967, Fr.) about an abused girl) after she realized her parents had seen them - it was an unsuccessful attempt to commit group suicide by connecting a hose to the gas outlet, and extending the hose into the bedroom. |
 Theo Masturbating to a Picture of Marlene Dietrich     Isabelle Stripping Naked  Prologue to Matthew-Isabelle Love-Making Sequence in Kitchen   Slow Pan Up Isabelle's Naked Body  Threesome Bathtub  Isabelle's Menstrual Blood in Bathwater  Isabelle as the Venus de Milo Sculpture  Isabelle, Theo, and Matthew in Tent    Failed Suicide Attempt |
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11:14 (2003) (aka Eleven Fourteen) The brain-teasing film's title was the debut black comedy film of writer/director Gary Marcks. The film's intricate plot, told in flashback, was similar to the taut, reversely-told and non-linear Memento. The title referred to the time of an unfortunate night-time car accident in a small-town - the hitting of an already-dead body on a freeway. The ensemble story was told through five seemingly-random events or story-lines (including graveyard sex and death, gunplay and robbery, and genital dismemberment of a penis) of all the five inter-connected individuals, that fatefully converged together at 11:14 pm:
In one of the numerous strands, manipulatively-desperate teen femme fatale Cheri had clothed sex in a dark graveyard while straddling Aaron (Blake Heron) when his head was crushed by a tombstone (with a stone angel on top) that fell onto him and instantly killed him. Later, Aaron's body was dropped onto the road and hit by drunk driver Jack (and stashed into his trunk where it was discovered by a police officer). Jack was eventually taken into custody, and Cheri was killed in a hit-and-run accident at 11:14 pm, hit by a van driven by Mark (Colin Hanks) (with two other malicious teens inside: Tim (Stark Sands) and Eddie (Ben Foster) - who accidentally had his penis amputated in the closing van window). |
 Cheri (Rachael Leigh Cook) 
Graveyard Scene |
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Final Examination (2003) Director Fred Olen Ray's (noted for Hollywood Chainsaw Hookers (1988)) amateurish, direct-to-video slasher-horror-thriller broadcast its intentions with its two taglines: "You fail. You die" and "Are you ready for your photo shoot? One click and you're dead!" It told about a group of beautiful sorority friends of Omega Capa Omega who were in Hawaii for their five-year reunion and for a photoshoot with Cavalier Magazine. They were being killed by an unknown, black-garbed murderer, who left behind his calling card at each crime scene - a final-examination paper with a red-inked grade of "FAILED" stamped on it. The murders were investigated by LA cop Shane Newman (Brent Huff) and his partner Julie Seska (B-movie queen Kari Wuhrer, not nude in this film, however). The film contained lots of bare breast shots (often silicon-enhanced), particularly of well-endowed scream queen Debbie Rochon (as Taylor Cameron).
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  Taylor Cameron (Debbie Rochon) |
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Freddy vs. Jason (2003) (aka Friday the 13th, Part 11) In the eleventh installment of the long-running film franchise, Freddy vs. Jason (2003) (aka Friday the 13th, Part 11), now a hybrid between the Friday the 13th and Nightmare on Elm Street films, the same equation of sex=death was followed. After the film's prologue, on a dock at nighttime, camp counselor Heather (Odessa Munroe) opened her buttoned shirt to reveal her breasts and did a silly little striptease as she called out for her unseen boyfriend Mike, before stripping entirely, running down the dock, and diving into Crystal Lake. Spooked when Mike didn't appear, she swam back, returned to her clothes to get dressed - and began running in fear. She came upon the hulking figure of serial killer Jason Voorhees (Ken Kirzinger) in the foggy mist, and fled in terror in the opposite direction. Suddenly, Jason impaled or pinned her in her gut to a tree with a machete and the tip of the machete's blade pierced through to the opposite side of the tree, although it all appeared to be a dream. In a later scene set on a stormy and rainy night at 1428 Elm Street in Springwood, hockey-masked Jason murdered bossy boyfriend Trey (Jesse Hutch) apres love-making to his busty, but tomboyish girlfriend Gibb (Katharine Isabelle, body-double Tammy Morris) who was taking a shower at the time (seen from a top-view). The film-makers also were able to cleverly insert nude pictures into a magazine article about models seeking perfect bodies with plastic surgery. In one of the dream world sequences, protagonist Lori Campbell (Monica Keena) was sent back to Camp Crystal Lake in the year 1957 on a bright sunny day - she watched as other campers cruelly taunted young Jason Voorhees (Spencer Stump), calling him "Freak show." They covered his bald head with a cloth sack to conceal his ugly face, and dragged him onto the dock. She saw two pairs of uncaring, flirtatious camp counselors making out on a porch of a cabin nearby, who ignored the taunting. As Lori cried out: "Aren't you going to help the kid?," one now-naked, dead female (Jacqueline Stewart) was being rapidly thrusted into by her boyfriend in a standing position, who retorted: "Can't you see I'm busy here!" Then, the guy turned, revealing himself to be Freddy Krueger (Robert Englund), cackling: "It's not my fault this bitch is dead on her feet." |
  Heather (Odessa Munroe)  Gibb (Katharine Isabelle) (body double Tammy Morris)  Female Counselor (Jacqueline Stewart) |
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Gigli (2003) In this famously laughable romantic comedy by writer/director Martin Brest, real-life tabloid lovers (at the time) Ben Affleck and Jennifer Lopez (dubbed "Bennifer") were featured as star-crossed lovers, although they projected little if any sexual chemistry. Regarded as one of the worst films ever made, it won six Razzie Awards: Worst Picture, Worst Actor, Worst Actress, Worst Director, Worst Screenplay, and Worst Screen Couple - a "grand slam." The two portrayed characters who often debated with each other:
During a three-minute debate-argument while she performed yoga in blue spandex shorts, the two compared the relative merits and attractiveness of the male and female sex organs. She offered a monologue of her description of the real power in the world (her vagina) and told him the penis was overvalued:
Speechless and only able to agree, Gigli could only respond later:
In another romantic scene, when she kissed him and squeezed his nipple, he flinched and she told him: "I thought you wanted to be my bitch" - he responded: "This is so f--ked up," but he kept on kissing her. She leaned back, rocking her leg back and forth and notoriously and animalistically requested oral foreplay during the seduction scene, as she gestured toward her own crotch with her legs spread: "It's turkey time...Gobble, gobble" - to his amazement. She further clarified:
When he tried to explain how a man was at a disadvantage with a woman ("...actually a woman might know more...about what feels better to another woman. She's a woman herself"), she stopped him: "Shut up and get over here." They kissed further and made love in an extended love scene, after which he told her: "God bless you, penis." She concurred with him about how all relationships had a bull and a cow - after which he 'moooed.' |
   Ricki (Jennifer Lopez) Long Monologue  Larry: "I'm the bull, you're the cow!"   Ricki: "It's turkey time...Gobble, gobble"  
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High Tension (2003, Fr.) (aka Haute Tension, or Switchblade Romance) Director Alexandre Aja's low-budget, breakout film was partially dubbed in English for its North American release in 2005. Lionsgate released it with the NC-17 rating (rather than unrated) - due to its homoerotic and gritty horror tale, and graphic violence (some of which was edited or trimmed). The film was later released as R-rated. It contained the same twist found in the popular Fight Club (1999) - a very unreliable, violent narrator with a split personality. In the story, two female law college student friends, during a break, went to Alexia's farm home in the French countryside to study for exams:
In Marie's introductory dream credits sequence (a dream when she was sleeping in the back seat of the car), she described to Alexia (as they drove to the farmhouse) about how she was a slasher who chased herself through the forest ("It wasn't a guy. It was me. That was the weirdest part. It was me running after me")) - a clue and hint to the film's premise. Alexia remarked: "Don't you ever have normal dreams?" In a strange, early sequence in the film, there was a necrophilia-tinged shot of the future brutish killer, a van driver (Philippe Nahon), having sex with a decapitated female head in his lap that he discarded out the window as he drove off. As the serial killer arrived at the farm house, there was an intercut scene of Marie in her bedroom masturbating to the song Runaway Girl by U-Roy with lyrics: "She's just another girl, that's what you are. You are just another girl." She had just spied on her love interest Alexia through an upstairs window as she took a shower. During their first night in the farmhouse, the driver invaded and in a lengthy sequence, ferociously killed the family members. First, he slashed Marie's father and then decapitated him. Marie witnessed most of the bloody murders, and at one time played hide-and-seek with the killer to avoid being detected during the neck-slashing razor murder of her mother. Afterwards, the killer kidnapped a chained and bound Alexia. With a butcher knife in her hand, Marie hid in the back of the nameless killer's blood-stained, rusty van to pursue him and help rescue her kidnapped friend. The action was told from the vantage point of Marie, who was trying to save her friend. The killer proceeded to a gas station where he filled his van with fuel and then murdered the gas station attendant Jimmy (Franck Khalfoun) by axing him in the chest (Marie again witnessed the killing). In the clerk's stolen car, Marie found herself being pursued by the van into the woods. She was badly injured when forced off the road and her car crashed. Marie was eventually able to bludgeon the killer with a fence post covered in barbed wire. As Marie inspected the body, he grabbed at her throat. She retaliated by suffocating him with a plastic sheet. By this time, the police had investigated the gas station clerk's murder, and on surveillance tape, they watched as Marie was shown committing the murder. The film's highly improbable conclusion revealed the gimmicky, reality-shifting, absurdly-surprising "Gotcha" twist that the male killer was in Marie's psychotic, schizophrenic imagination - she was actually the killer of Alex's family as well. Undoubtedly Marie felt homicidal rage for being repeatedly sexually spurned by Alex. Another earlier clue to Marie's split personality was the shot of a doll's face split in two by a large crack. An obscure clue was provided with the Latin saying on the back of Marie's tight T-shirt which read: Audaces Solum (literally "Boldly Alone" or "Very Lonely"). In the conclusion, the male killer (the van driver) with a circular concrete saw chased down Alexia (who had hailed down a passing car), and savagely disemboweled the driver. Alex tried to escape but could not run off, due to a large sliver of glass that had sliced through her Achilles' tendon. And then the male killer was transformed into Marie. The bloodied Marie approached Alexia - and kissed her, proclaiming that she would be her heroic savior: "You really know how to drive a woman crazy, don't ya, ya goddamn bitch!... Do you love me? You don't love me, do you? Nobody will come between us ever again, Alex. Never again." Marie's murderous actions to kill Alexia's family was so that she could obsessively be with her. Alexia resisted the kiss - fought back and plunged a crowbar into Marie's upper-chest - and it emerged from her back.
In the last scene, Marie was institutionalized in a mental hospital (the same images were present in the film's opening when Marie stated: "Are they recording?" - making the entire film her own nightmarish flashback). Marie kept repeating to herself: "I won't let anyone come between us anymore." Alex looked at Marie through a one-way mirror as Marie sensed her presence and gestured with open arms toward her. |
 A Discarded Decapitated Head After Necrophiliac-Oral Sex with Serial Killer Van Driver  Alexia Showering Upstairs  Marie (Cecile De France) in Her Bedroom - Masturbating   Marie - A Witness to the Murders of Alexia's Family Members in Their Farm Home by Van Driver  The Van Driver/Killer  Doll's Face - Schizophrenic Split Hint  Surveillance Videotape of Marie Killing the Gas Station Store Clerk  Marie in Mental Asylum  (Opening Scene) |
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House of 1000 Corpses (2003) Director Rob Zombie's debut film was the first in a so-called "Firefly Trilogy," including the sequel The Devil's Rejects (2005) and 3 From Hell (2019). Its themes were similar to previous cult horror films of the 70s including The Texas Chain Saw Massacre (1974) and The Hills Have Eyes (1977). The garish and campy film's tagline boasted: "THE MOST SHOCKING TALE OF CARNAGE EVER SEEN." The low-budget ($7 million), hard-core exploitational film was often accused of being a derivative rip-off of the 1974 classic 'chain-saw massacre' film, in its tale of backwoods brutality, gore, vulgarities and violence. The Firefly family tortured and mutilated a group of teenagers who were traveling across the country and had fatefully stopped at an unusual and offbeat roadside venue. [Trivia note: The character names of Captain Spaulding, Otis Driftwood, and Rufus Firefly were derived from Groucho Marx's character names.] Originally before its theatrical release, Zombie's film was threatened with an NC-17 rating for its grisly violence and brutality, including controversial scenes of masturbation and necrophilia - with a skeleton - (toned down for release).
After being rejected by two major studios, Universal and MGM, the film was finally released and distributed by Lions Gate Entertainment (already a notorious studio for releasing Lolita (1997), Dogma (1999), American Psycho (2000), Bully (2001) and Irreversible (2002)). Before the title credits, the colorful film opened with excerpts from a B/W horror TV show - a Halloween movie-marathon hosted by Dr. Wolfenstein. One of its advertisements was for a carnival freak-show or fun-house museum (of Monsters and Madmen) in a remote area of Texas, run by Captain Spaulding (Sid Haig), a crazed-looking clown. It was October 30, 1977, Halloween-time. The hybrid road-side attraction consisted of a gas station, a museum of curiosities, collectibles, strange memorabilia and other oddities, a haunted house ride-attraction, and a restaurant with fried chicken wings, as memorably described by Spaulding:
Two mask-wearing criminals, Killer Karl and Richard Wick (Chad Bannon and David Reynolds), suddenly robbed the store at gunpoint, with Killer Karl exclaiming: "I don't like chicken and I hate clowns." A local customer in the store named Stucky (Michael J. Pollard) recognized the second thief as local hardware store worker Richard Wick, a simpleton. Suddenly, a third man, Spaulding's overalls-wearing, deformed assistant Ravelli (Irwin Keyes) with a large clown helmet on his head, burst through the front door with a mallet - used to injure and incapacitate Killer Karl. Wick wildly fired his gun and hit a local customer named Stucky (Michael J. Pollard). Spaulding retaliated by shooting Wick in the head. He then approached the wounded Killer Karl on the floor and executed him (firing into the camera) - with an obscenity: "But MOST of all... F--k YOU!" Then, he complained: "Goddamn, motherf--ker got blood all over my best clown suit." The title credits then began to play over a montage of mostly strange and old video footage of surgical operations and Halloween-related images. Four teens were on a cross-country road trip enroute to Denise's home in Ruggsville, Texas. Almost out of gas, they stopped at Spaulding's Museum and gas pump. It was perfect for them, due to the group's interest in writing a guidebook about strange tourist attractions:
Just after mopping up bloodstains on the floor, Spaulding convinced the arriving group to take the famous "Murder Ride" (featuring monster props and serial killers, such as Albert Fish, Lizzie Borden, and Ed Gein), introduced as a "world of darkness, a world where life and death are meaningless and pain is God." They also listened to Spaulding's spiel about local legendary figure (and serial killer) S. Quentin Quale, also known as Doctor Satan (Walter Phelan) - a notoriously-deranged master surgeon at the nearby Willows County Mental Hospital ("Weeping Willows") who abused his patients with primitive brain surgeries. In the midst of an oncoming storm, the group decided to visit the tree where the man was hanged by a murderous, vigilante lynch mob. Spaulding described how "no trace of Dr. Satan has ever been discovered." While Denise called her father about their trip's progress, a 7 o'clock TV report in his home announced recent disappearances of five local cheerleaders: "Investigators still have no leads to the strange disappearance of the five cheerleaders from Ruggsville High School...last seen four days ago leaving a football game." On the way to the hanging tree in Deadwood, the group picked up a pretty, free-spirited, friendly but eccentric hitchhiker named Baby (Sheri Moon Zombie), aka Vera-Ellen Firefly. [Note: In a later film, she was identified as Captain Spaulding's daughter.] There was an unexplained intercut sequence of a crazed, long stringy -haired man - Otis Driftwood (Bill Moseley), Baby's adopted brother, preaching to a group of gagged and bound teen girls - presumably the missing cheerleaders in a TV (and additional radio) report:
After a mysterious blown tire (from a shotgun blast - from Rufus!) and assistance from Baby's half-brother Rufus (who also drove a tow truck), the group ended up at the Firefly family's deserted farmhouse, decorated at the front door with mangled, decapitated and armless baby dolls, and scarecrows in the front yard. Baby's murderous and sadistic clan family consisted of:
The family forced the uneasy and bewildered group to share a meal with some of the family members and then to wear Halloween masks.
Mama Firefly told a gruesome tale about her mentally-psychotic, ex-husband Earl who had tried to immolate Tiny and burn down the Firefly home: ("One day he just up and went devil on us all...He tried to burn down the house. He said it was possessed by the spirits. And Tiny was sleepin' in the basement where the fire started. But I don't think Earl ever meant to harm us. Tiny was badly burnt, his ears were destroyed and most of his skin....My baby boy gets shy around new people, but he'll warm up to you, especially the girls. He's a real lady-killer"). After the meal, the demented family put on a burlesque-vaudeville styled stage show for the guests ("It's SHOWTIME!") - viewed often in split-screen - the highlight was Baby's song "I Wanna Be Loved By You." Baby's attempt to sexually flirt with Mary's boyfriend Bill by sitting on his lap during her performance caused Mary to lose her temper and confront her ("...get the f--k off him, you stupid f--king whore!"). Baby counter-attacked her with a pocket-knife and threatened: "I'll f--kin' cut your tits off and shove them down your throat." Fortunately, Rufus announced that their car was repaired and the foursome was asked to leave. As they made their getaway, two figures disguised as scarecrows (Otis and Tiny) attacked them in the driveway at the closed gate. In the backseat, Denise and Mary helplessly watched their boyfriends being violently beaten. Although they locked themselves in their car, Tiny smashed through the side car window, and Otis broke through the front windshield. The two dragged the women inside - all four were taken hostage. The next day, the four teens were brutally abused (one was murdered):
Meanwhile, the case of the four missing teens had been reported by Denise's worried ex-cop father Don Willis (Harrison Young) in Ruggsville, to two officers, Lt. George Wydell (Tom Towles) and Deputy Steve Naish (Walton Goggins). During their investigation, they soon found the abandoned, destroyed car with naked and dead cheerleader Karen Murphy in the trunk. Lt. Wydell interrogated Mama Firefly in the house to distract her, while Willis and Naish investigated outside (and discovered more corpses of dead cheerleaders in the Firefly barn). More murders would then occur:
The three surviving teens, Jerry, Mary and Denise, were dressed in bunny rabbit outfits, and were about to be placed in a coffin and lowered into an abandoned well. Seeing an opportunity to escape, Mary took flight as Otis commanded her to "RUN, RABBIT, RUN!" She fled into a graveyard-cemetery where hundreds of Firefly victims (marked by crosses) had been buried over the years. She was chased by Baby and repeatedly and bloodily stabbed in the chest. Baby laughed hysterically and then licked the blood off her knife. The Firefly family conducted a ritualistic burning of all the new corpses at the gravesite. After descending into an underground series of caverns and catacombs (of rotting bodies), Jerry and Denise's coffin was ripped open by crazed and insane-looking, freakish mental patients. Jerry was dragged off to an operating room, where Denise witnessed Doctor Satan (a demonic cyborg) performing a vivisection open-brain operation on him - he died on the operating table. Doctor Satan's mutated, masked assistant entered - the monstrous figure was revealed to be Mother Firefly's ex-husband Earl (The Professor).
Denise escaped from pursuit by Earl (with a large axe) to the surface (while Earl was crushed by a falling support beam and rock in the tunnel), where she was offered a ride by Captain Spaulding, who happened to be driving by in a pink Cadillac convertible. She sat back and fell asleep in the passenger seat and wasn't aware that Otis was in the back-seat. He raised his knife to stab her.
The film abruptly cut to Denise who had been returned to the underground lab and strapped onto Doctor Satan's operating table for further torture. She awakened with Dr. Satan above her, and The Professor in the room - she screamed! Had the Professor survived, and/or was Denise hallucinating?
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 Master Clown Captain Spaulding (Sid Haig)  Store Robbery by (l to r) Richard Wick and Killer Karl  Ravelli (Irwin Keyes)  Spaulding's Introduction of the "Murder Ride" Members of Demented Firefly Family:  Baby Firefly (Sheri Moon Zombie)  Gloria "Mama" or Mother Firefly (Karen Black)  Tiny (Matthew McGrory)  Grampa Hugo Firefly (Dennis Fimple)   Otis Driftwood (Bill Moseley)  Baby's Stage Show Performance   The Confrontation Between Mary and Flirtatious Baby  The Aborted Getaway in a Car   Bill's Lethal Fate - Served as "Fishboy" by Otis   Denise's Fate - Abused by Tiny, Taken Captive by Otis  Jerry's Fate - Partially Scalped After Failing Baby's Guessing Game  Body of Dead Cheerleader in Abandoned Car Trunk    More Dead and Tortured Cheerleaders in the Firefly Barn  Otis Wearing Willis' Facial and Body Skin   Mary's Fate - Dressed In Bunny Rabbit Costume - "RUN, RABBIT, RUN" - Bloodily Stabbed to Death by Baby  Denise Pursued by The Professor Underground Before Escaping |
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House of the Dead (2003) This inept, reviled zombie film, with a few gratuitous nude scenes, was from notorious German-born director Uwe Boll. It was set on a mysterious island named Isla de la Muerte near Seattle where a weekend rave party was to be held. In an early scene, topless, airhead blonde Cynthia (Sonya Salomaa) on a chartered fishing boat going out to the island turned around, sarcastically told the first mate Salish (Clint Howard): "Did you get a real good peek there, huh?", and was given a small crucifix for protection ("It'll ward off evil spirits and protect you and your friends from harm"). She responded dumbly: "It's OK, I'm on the pill." There was time for one party-goer, brunette Johanna (Erica Durance, or Erica Parker) to walk to a body of water with her male companion Matt (Steve Byers), and suggest skinny-dipping: "Come on, let's go swimming." After they kissed, she removed her orange top, baring her breasts, and then her bottoms (down to a white thong), and walked into the cold water with her arms outstretched. She told him: "Come on, you big wimp!" as he told her: "You have a good swim, babe."
He watched from the shore, as she appeared to be spied upon from afar and from under the water. She became spooked (with accompanying Jaws-like music) when bubbles floated up from below, and she hurriedly swam back to shore, although Matt had disappeared - she called out: "Come on, Matt, don't play games. Matt, where are you?" |
 Cynthia (Sonya Salomaa) |
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The Brown Bunny (2003)
